Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
