apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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