32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
