He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
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Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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