swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
