420 ftw
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I could fuck to npr.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
