haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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