Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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