Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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