Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it was like eating out sand paper
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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