That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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