im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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