drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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