piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
