went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i will never coherently bang her
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize