I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
