Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
