Tell her she can't have a vagina
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
