Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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