The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
