I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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