There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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