so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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