Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
