i was born a porn star she said
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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