just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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