I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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