I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
