my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
