He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
