I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
