Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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