I just pynch a tree in the face
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.