we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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