why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
