So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
