i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize