guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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