Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The ass gains better be worth it
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