you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can text with my tongue
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
