I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize