He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
