Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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