Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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