I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
