what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
