would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
