Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
