matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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