I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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