shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Rumble strips road head = magical
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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