So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
