we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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