It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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