matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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