every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize